until we disappear

Miles from where we are

2012-01-03T23:32:00.012-05:00

The untold story of the January 3 Iowa caucuses and the 2012 presidential campaign is not the over $10 million in media buys (Radio Ink, Jeff Delvaux) spent so far promoting the campaigns of candidates, but the 76,000 Iowans, a third of those children under the age of 18, who receive emergency food from the Food Bank of Iowa.

Several news organizations were calling the caucuses a statistical dead heat with two or three candidates tied for the number one spot. Candidates have been campaigning hard in the weeks leading up to today’s caucus. Touting job creation, executive expertise, government reform and an end to the current Democratic administration and economic situation; candidates have traversed the state and enlisted their peers to do the same.

Jeff Stein reported recently on PBS’s News Hour that $6 million of the funds spent on media buys were spent in the last 50-60 days. That’s a startling figure in a country where Congressional leaders cannot agree on a trillion dollar decrease in the national debt.

For all the talk of family values, the sanctity of life, the preservation of civil liberties and human rights; over 43.6 million American are still living in poverty. Over 48.8 million Americans still live in food insecure households (US Census 2009 and USDA 2010). Of those in food insecure households, 16.2 million of them are children.

The North Texas Food Bank, from my home state of Texas, is able to produce 3 meals for every $1 they raise.

CBS News has reported that in 2008, over $5 billion was spent in elections, with $2.4 billion going to presidential campaigns alone. That adds up. Actually, it adds up to precisely 15 billion meals.

15 billion meals. 48.8 million people. 307 meals per person.

This is what’s wrong with the Iowa caucus. This is what’s wrong with our country.

Robert Kennedy once said, “Few are willing to brave the disapproval of their fellows, the censure of their colleagues, the wrath of their society. Moral courage is a rarer commodity than bravery in battle or great intelligence. Yet it is the one essential, vital quality for those who seek to change a world that yields most painfully to change. And I believe that in this generation those with the courage to enter the moral conflict will find themselves with companions in every corner of the globe.”

I hope my generation is that generation because our political system, our political leaders and our democracy are miles from where we, the people, are.

'We Don't Have to Be Saints'

2011-10-26T22:36:00.002-04:00

I often ask students what words they associate with social activists. "Fanatical," they'll say. "Crazy." "Trouble makers." "Angry." "Extremists." Then I'll ask where Martin Luther King, Jr. fits in, and after a pause, they'll characterize him as soemone morally superhuman, who stood above or apart from life, a man so rare that nothing he did could be replicated, even on a smaller scale.

These judgemenst they acknowledge, come not from direct experience but from cultural images. Their high school textbooks, they say, "only metnion the conclusions," omitting accounts of how ordinary citizens have repeatedly shaped America. Today, activist stories rarely make the news. Apart from a few pictures, a three-minute feature on a "person of the week," or a brief sound bite here and there, most of us have encountered little that conveys the actual process of social change, with all its passion, frustration, difficult perserverance, and sense of consequence and purpose.

-Paul Rogat Loeb, Soul of a Citizen

A realistic love runs out of room

2011-03-25T00:05:00.013-04:00

Many people don't get my interest in nonprofits. I don't expect them to, it's kind of like a hobby or career. Like Jakub's cooking (hobby) or Dustin's craftiness (career). It's a whole host of things, but it's the relationship building that I find really intriguing. People form relationships with organiztions and with the people in those organizations and the impact on the organization and the person can blow you away.

This is one thing I love about life and about the job I had at Resource Center Dallas. It took an introverted person like me and forced me to meet and mingle with a lot of people in a short period of time. Groups really aren't my thing. Oooh, the anxiety. It's like riding in a croweded metro car, you grab the pole to brace yourself and pray you don't get trapped longer than 5 mins between Court House and Rosslyn because then the clostropobia sets in. I chew gum to combat this.

At an event or happy hour chewing gum is not appropriate, nor enough for my anxiety. haha.

I preferred the one-on-ones; getting to know people, getting to hear their stories in their words. Whether or not I could identify, whether or not I could give them what they wanted, it was more about listening. Most people need someone to listen, affirm what they are feeling and help them plan the next steps or validate the steps they took.

In my year I did not have enough time to build a lot of one-on-one relationships. That comes with time. I will tell you that with the few I did have, I listened. I was inspired and several times I had to tell myself not to cry. The passing of Warren Christopher and Elizabeth Taylor (yes, I know--my mind has this thing about finding connections between two seemingly unrelated things) brought this to my mind, because Elizabeth, like many others, championed research and services for those with HIV/AIDS. There were many people and communities that rallied together to improve the quality of life for those with HIV/AIDS when the epidemic first emerged. Many buried the ones they loved.

I cannot imagine burying one of my friends. I cannot imagine it. The thought alone makes my eyes water.

After all this time the atmosphere has changed--but the need has not. Those that remember still have the urgent sense to give and to volunteer, and more importantly, share their stories. Listen to the stories. Today, many of them are the same, albiet the outcome is different thanks to advances in treatment.

"Careful listening may be the secret weapon. I observed some time ago that I was better at listening than talking." -Warren Christopher, the late and former Secretary of State

How are you telling your story? How are you listening to the people you want to share your story with?

It's oversimpilification to say education and listening are enough to alter today's reality, but they are a good start. You learn so much. I learn so much from everyone I meet. I am continually amazed--the chicken soup for the soul lady had it. In sharing one's story there is the potential to transport people to a place they have never been. To challenge their current reality. To make them aware. To make them an advocate.

Not long before I joined Resource Center Dallas a long-time advocate and volutneer of the Center died. Over the course of my year there I was able to come to know his partner, as much as one can in such a short time. When I told him I was leaving my job and moving to DC his reaction was the same as my friends and family: excitement. He e-mailed his friends in DC to try and get me connected and hopefully help me find a job.

The last time I saw him I walked through his house, past the vases and mirrors and the walls and bookcases overflowing with photos--a lifetime of snapshots and memories. He shared with me more stories and several poems and works by his partner. The joy in his eyes whenever he spoke of him was the same on this day as it was on the first day I met him. I am almost certain it was the same joy he felt the first day he met him. He read them to me. He cried and I-I told myself not to cry.

I am thankful for the stories. They reminded me, they educated me and they helped me not lose sight of the goal we were striving to achieve. Nothing beats that.

untitled by Joseph Ray Witherspoon (undated)
The hours, days and years that have passed from 16 to 60 have passed so quickly.
The memories begin to fade or maybe I am just forgetting.
As I age, my thoughts have dimmed and create a loss of memory.
But as you look from picture to picture, album to album, with all treasured moments you pause and try to remember your past.
As I remember, the days were longer. The hours took longer to pass.
The joy of discovering was exciting, laughter was contagious, the events we shared were so much fun.
But now these days have dimmed and I long for the words, the touches, the love that was then.
However the love given today is so warming, so pleasant, so caressing that maybe today is yesterday or tomorrow and love and happiness is forever.

With no reprise, the sun will rise.

2011-03-15T23:00:00.002-04:00

The War for Justice.

La Guerre Pour la Civilisation | de Oorlog tot de Beschaving, The War to Preserve Civilization.

The First World War.

World War I.

The Great War.

What ever you may call it, The Great War, the war that was to end all wars, began in the summer of 1914. The spark in a series of events: the assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand of the Austro-Hungarian Empire.

Today my country laid to rest our last son, our last veteran of that war, Mr Frank Buckles. Only two other veterans of this war remain in the world.

The War to Preserve Civilization, as it was also known in Belgium and France, waged on for four years. On the 11th hour, of the 11th day of the 11th month in

1918 the armistice began. It was months later, in the summer of 1919, that the Treaty of Versailles was signed.

The Great War ceased. Our troops came home and countries paid tribute to veterans of the war and hoped of lasting peace. The League of Nations, what we know today as the United Nations, was formed.

Sir Percy Fitzpatrick, who lost is son in the war, was integral in persuading the war cabinet and King George V to acknowledge the sacrifices made by his son and other soldiers. He knew too well our human nature:

"In the hearts of our people there is a real desire to find some lasting expression of their feeling for those who gave their lives in the war. They want something done now while the memories of sacrifice are in the minds of all; for there is the dread - too well grounded in experience - that those who have gone will not always be first in the thoughts of all, and that when the fruits of their sacrifice become our daily bread, there will be few occasions to remind us of what we realise so clearly today. - Sir Percy Fitzpatrick

President Wilson and the King, among others, declared days of remembrance in support of peace.

"To us in America, the reflections of Armistice Day will be filled with solemn pride in the heroism of those who died in the country’s service and with gratitude for the victory, both because of the thing from which it has freed us and because of the opportunity it has given America to show her sympathy with peace and justice in the councils of the nations… - President Woodrow Wilson

"Tuesday next, November 11, is the first anniversary of the Armistice, which stayed the world wide carnage of the four preceding years and marked the victory of Right and Freedom. I believe that my people in every part of the Empire fervently wish to perpetuate the memory of the Great Deliverance, and of those who have laid down their lives to achieve it. - King George V

It was after World War II and the Korean War that the U.S. Congress changed Armistice day to Veterans' day and then President Eisenhower made his declaration honoring veterans.

Our country acknowledged that the sacrifices made by our service-members were not an event we should let come to pass. Sir Fitzpatrick knew that if we lost sight of these sacrifices, history was destined to repeat itself, we were destined to forget those who bore the ultimate burden. While there were several arguments made for Mr Buckles to receive the honor of lying in honor in our Nation's Capitol, this was not one readily heard.

In times like these, when the deployment of hundreds of thousands of our troops overseas is commonplace, it should have been the most critical argument. This is as much about Mr Buckles service, those of his comrades and those of our service-members today. Life at home in the States remains significantly unchanged and uninformed of the continued sacrifices of our countrymen. How is such a request too much to ask?

How is the giving of one's life or the sacrifice of a generation to protect the very principles and Constitution this country was founded on not worthy of pause in the heart of our Capitol? We paid millions, if not more, to open the Capitol visitor's center and bring government to life for her people. In comparison, a ceremony acknowledging the contributions of the few in our country who take the responsibility to defend our liberty against all odds, where ever the fight may take them, is a far more moving argument for the building where Majority Leader Reid and Speaker Boehner work, for the people.

While these two men could not find the necessary faculties within their minds and hearts to heed the significance of this moment in the history of our nation, many others can.

Today our men and women in uniform continue to lay down their lives for us in war abroad so that we may reap the blessings of freedom and a pluralistic society. Today another solider died defending that freedom.

We search for heroes everyday, and everyday we find them. From all corners of this nation our citizens, and even those who are not citizens, declare their love of this nation, her people, their families and our allies. Everyday they make the conscious choice to serve humanity and protect the blessings of liberty. We call on them today, as we have called upon our ancestors, to be the stewards of our bravery and strength.

I cannot help but feel and share the solemn pride President Wilson and countless others felt in the days and months following the end of the war. I am prouder than my words can express; thankful and humbled. We can never do enough to thank our veterans, to honor their sacrifices, to honor their service and to honor the principles upon which this country was founded.

On a day like today, when we reflect on the service and life of Mr Buckles; we reflect on the lives of all who serve and who have served. For his Armistice Day is our Veterans' Day. His peace, is our peace. His life is the humble reminder that while a hero would die for his country, he would much rather live for it.

this is everything

2011-03-12T12:35:00.008-05:00

Several of my friends thoroughly enjoyed my previous blog, nate in dc, that chronicled my first 100 days in the district after quitting my job in Texas to follow my dream. I am starting up again to fulfill my need to write and their desire to share in my experiences.

The title of my blog I have used several times before. It comes from a song by Brand New: Play Crack the Sky. "this story's old but it goes on and on until we disappear."

Here's to hoping for new stories, a new future and a history that is no longer destined to repeat itself.

If you're interest in where I left off, my last post from nate in dc follows:

if you're going downtown, take me with you
19 August 2010

friends,

i began writing this post on monday the 9th and did not finish. here it is almost thursday and i'm finally finishing this up.

i'm excited to go home this weekend. my twin sister is graduating! my niece is walking! and flappy and i will be cuddling every moment i have to give. ....and today i had an interview. five minutes after my interview i was approved for hire pending the result of my clearance. the job is a contract position with the state dept.

it feels a little surreal. when i started this blog, i stated that i would give myself 100 days. the 100 days each president has been held to since FDR. the difference for FDR and I, versus the presidents since him, is that we imposed the 100 day goal on ourselves.

have you been keeping track of the days? i was afraid to do a count. it's was a little bit of wishful thinking to think on monday, day 100, i would get approved but it happened. at least on the interim. special thanks to john for helping get my resume in front of all the right people.

last week was the bombers. on the list of tomfoolery it's up there. i thank baby jesus for whits. she's my friend, my trainer, my hibachi partner and my barbie doll. :*

chris and whits helped me bring in my bday right! they brought me georgetown cupcakes at resto, took me to top golf where i had no trouble (yeah right) handling the clubs and then we headed to rock it with potts and also ran into john! it must have been foreshadowing.

it was great seeing the majority of my friends in dallas. i'm lucky to have all the great people i do in my life.

my family. my friends. my puppy. they make it all worth it.

when i started writing about this journey i told you i would finish at 100 days, and that i would be on my way to fulfilling my dream. i never explicitly stated what that dream would be. dreams are funny things. dreams are the result of work. i knew what ever i ended up with i would be happy with, because i would have worked to get it. i went on tons of interviews here. it never felt quite right. until now. to know what one wants you really have to stop and think. you can't just assume it will happen.

when applying for scholarships and grad programs back in 2006 i wrote an essay for the truman scholarship. i remember while writing that essay dr. duban told me that it didn't matter where i ended up going to school. what mattered was that i knew what i wanted to do and that i would work toward that goal. whether i got a scholarship or whether i even went to grad school, my career goals would still be there.

i wrote that 5-7 years after completion of my graduate degree that:
"I hope to serve in the State Department for the Bureau of Population, Refugees and Migration. This will allow me to channel my education and experience toward the implementation and oversight of foreign-policy programs and operations for the United States."

what i will be doing is not this, but i will be working in a capacity that my years between now and then have aptly prepared me for. in the realm of life i am closer than i ever thought i would be to this goal. it's surreal. it's the first goal i've ever written down that i feel like i am witnessing happen. pretty freakin' cool.

well, that's all on my 100 days. i could write forever, but i won't. i'm on my way. i'm ready for another day. :D

title track: downtown by tegan and sara.